What's next?

Seriously. Women are given so many underwear (or, if you prefer, lingerie) options, all, in essence, meant to make us more sexually desirable, even if it is under the guise of fashion or convenience. In terms of the skimpiest of options, there's the thong (no panty-lines when wearing that skin-tight turtleneck sweater dress from American Apparel!), the G-string -- which is just a trashier version of a thong -- and now, this: a strapless G-string. While I will be the first to admit that I do own a number of thongs, some to make me feel a little more sexy, some for wholly practical purposes, this has just put me over the edge. If you are wearing a dress that is so tight and short you simply cannot help your vagina from showing, then the chances are, you want the world to see all your goods. Otherwise, you'd take care to strategically place a hand or else you'd simply wear clothing with more coverage.

I think the purpose of the strapless G-string is to liberate women to wear any and every article of clothing they wish without having to worry about what may or may not slip into the public view; and, in theory, I'm totally behind this sort of thing. However, when these items seem to mostly perpetuate the idea that women are most sexy when they are wearing so little it's not hard to imagine what they look like naked, I have to raise a hand of protest. See, this sort of thing is what causes most women to be unnecessarily self-conscious, that makes those of us who do not look like runway models feel as though we aren't as attractive as we could be, that if only we could feel comfortable wearing that skirt that hits just below the buttocks, we, too, could be the object of every man's affection. This really and deeply upsets me.

As best I can tell, I do not have a single female friend who doesn't, on some level, have body-image issues: my hips are too wide, my thighs are disproportionately skinny, my ears are too Dumbo-like, my breasts are too asymmetrical, and the list goes on and on. There are as many reasons to blame as there are body-issues to face, but I think that one of the biggest is the hyper-sexualization (Cosmopolitan-izing) of women that just keeps getting more and more extreme. It seems that everything in our society is telling women how to be more sexy, more sexually pleasing, more sexual in general. Yes, we should be in control of our own sexuality, we should be made to feel comfortable about any decision we make about with whom and when we have sex, but not at the risk of this behavior becoming self-destructive and the basis on which women find all of their self-worth. This strapless g-string, if you ask me, is a reflection of just how absurd and uncaring our culture is. Now, it's going to be okay for America's women to be more like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, since they'll at least be able to cover their lady parts, even if that's the only thing conservative and responsible about their behavior and appearance.